4 AM Mysteries
by HuesoftheMorning
Summary: All Eli wanted to do was find the person who set off the fire alarm so she could make them see the error of their ways. She didn't count on sleep walkers, flirting, and blatant lying. What was this, a reality TV show?
1. Mystery

A map of the dorm is linked on my profile, for those curious.

If you think you figured out who set off the fire alarm, let me know in a review. I'll post a short chapter with the answer in a week or so.

* * *

So here's the story:

It's a cold 4 am morning, the dreary gray clouds above your head promising a disgusting drizzle any minute now. People are mingling outside the dorm, rubbing their eyes and padding about in slippered feet. No one is awake, not really, and you're surprised that there's only 5 people passed out on the ground instead of 20. You wished you could join them. But no one else is taking care of this situation, and so the job falls to you.

Someone set off the fire alarm. The lights are flashing in the dorms, harsh and white and just out of tune with the blaring noise that it's making your headache impossibly worse. Because not only did someone set off the fire alarm, they set it off at 4 am the night before exams.

You were not going back to sleep until you found out who did it.

The first step was gathering information. You already had an idea of who the culprit could be – a good detective always did – but you were not going to go around flinging baseless accusations. Yet. Luckily for you, there was one girl in the dorm that seemed to have plenty of information. Two, really, but you wanted to avoid one of them as long as possible. You had found her early on and had made sure to keep tabs on her so you could head in the opposite direction. And thankfully that was where you wanted to go, this time.

Maki Nishikino, the honorary pre-med student of the dorm, had claimed the one table outside the building. There was a bunch of paper spread across the top, all filled with messy notes, and she was slowly adding to the pile as she sat hunched over a textbook. You couldn't help but pity the poor girl. A first year and already swamped with work.

You plopped yourself down across from her and watched her work for a moment. She barely spared you a glance, looking up once before returning to her note taking. She had deep circles under her eyes, her jittery hand belying too many cups of coffee.

"What do you want?" Maki finally asked when she realized you weren't going away. "I'm busy here."

"I'm sure you are. I'll be quick: I'm trying to figure out who pulled the fire alarm. Do you have any ideas?"

"Nico." The answer came quick and sharp. "Or Nozomi," she added after a moment's thought, "possibly both."

"My thoughts exactly. But I need proof before I can act on that. I know your room is far from the alarm, but did you see either of them moving around before it went off?"

Maki put her pencil down, crossing her arms in thought. "I was in the lounge, actually. Since about 3:15. Nico started blaring that idol music again and I couldn't concentrate."

"So Nico was definitely awake when it went off, that's good to know. Did you hear Nozomi moving around at all?"

"No, I don't think. And look at her," Maki tilted her head in the girl's direction. She was talking with Kotori, it seemed, waving her hands about and smiling. "She seems full of energy, she had to have been sleeping."

You nodded in agreement. There was no way anyone could have that much energy half way through an all-nighter.

As if knowing that she was being talked about, Nozomi turned to look in your direction. She grinned when she saw you, and you couldn't help but pale as she started making her way over to the table. Maki noticed too and gave a dry smile.

"Better get moving before she catches you."

"Good plan."

You jumped up from the table, leaving Maki to her work, and headed towards a group of people. Slipping through the crowd seemed to throw Nozomi off the trail, for now, and you breathed a sigh of relief. Now you just had to find the next person to talk to.

Honoka and Rin were passed out on the grass nearby, Rin's head on Honoka's stomach as they lay with sprawled out limbs. They were going to get stepped on soon. But until then, you decided not to wake them. They didn't have the most strenuous of classes – Honoka was a culinary student and Rin was in ceramics, a fact no one could ever forget when they woke up to a clay bowl filled with bread outside their door every few days – but you were sure they could still use the rest. Though the fact that their rooms were right by the fire alarm did make them suspicious. You made a mental note to come back to them later and question them. Now to head to-

"Whatcha doing, Eli?"

You groaned. Nozomi was standing behind you, hands clasped innocently behind her back and a big smile on her face. You focused on that smile, as much as you didn't want to- you were now well too aware of the fact that Nozomi slept in what was practically lingerie, and despite yourself you found your gaze dropping to her chest more than once.

"Just talking to people, Nozomi."

"Oh? And what about?" Her grin grew wider when you didn't answer. "The alarm, perhaps? A little bird told me you were looking for the culprit~"

You frowned. "I haven't talked to Kotori at all yet."

"Ah, so you're the pun type, hmm? But I happened to be talking about our little doctor over there. She was very informative."

So Maki had ratted you out. You should have known, that girl had no loyalties. Nozomi had probably promised her another cup of coffee, and she had been all too willing to spill the beans. You sighed. Might as well give in. You needed to talk to Nozomi anyways.

"Did you set off the fire alarm, Nozomi?"

"Me?" She looked genuinely shocked for a moment, but her giggles and sly smirk gave her away. "I would _never_. I'm going to be an elementary school teacher, after all, what kind of role model would I be if I did something like that?"

"What kind of elementary school teacher wanders around in a lacy bra and underwear?"

Nozomi waved a hand. "Ah, you're focusing too much on the small details. Don't worry about it. But if it really bothers you, I can take them off."

You must have gone pure red at that, the way your cheeks heated up so fast. Nozomi laughed loudly, the epitome of pure delight.

"Ugh, go away. If you didn't pull the alarm, then I don't need you anymore. I'm going to go talk to Umi."

"I'm hurt, Eli. What will I ever do without you?" She laughed again when you shot her a glare. "Oh, but when you do talk to Umi, tell her it was Rin's fault, okay?"

"What?"

"Ta ta!" Nozomi waved in farewell as she slipped away, leaving you staring after her in confusion. Nothing was ever easy with her, was it? But it didn't matter. You had more important matters to attend to.

Umi looked surprisingly calm for someone forced to stand outside in a towel at 4 am. Her arms were wrapped tight around her body in order to keep the towel from falling, and you could only imagine the mortification she would experience if she lost it. You cringed in sympathy at just the thought.

"Hey, Umi. You doing okay?"

"I'm one step away from hypothermia and eternal embarrassment, so yes, I suppose so."

"Well it could be worse. At least it's not snowing."

The glare she gave you was not as bad as it could have been, all things considered. You held up your hands in apology.

"Sorry, sorry. Bad word choice. But I wanted to ask you- do you have any idea who set off the fire alarm?"

"Who?" Umi frowned as she thought. "I don't know. I've been in the shower for the last hour, so I haven't been paying attention."

"Yeah, that makes sense," you sighed. "What were you doing in the shower for an hour though? That's a long time."

Umi's face darkened, and you automatically took a step back. "Someone stole the shower head from my favorite stall. I spent thirty minutes looking for it. I only stopped because Honoka told me she would help look in the morning."

"Oh. I wonder if that's what Nozomi was-" You stopped short as you realized that you were about to unleash an angry Umi on poor Rin. The girl didn't deserve that. Unless Rin had pulled the fire alarm, in which case it would be a just punishment. But you didn't have anywhere near enough evidence for that, so you were thankful that Umi only gave you a weird look as you hesitated.

"Eli?"

"Ah, never mind. Anyways, you said you ran into Honoka?"

"Yes." Umi nodded, shifting her grip on the towel again. "She had spilled juice on herself so she went to the bathroom to clean up."

"Is it possible that she pulled the fire alarm on her way back to her room?"

"No, I don't think so. Only if she took a long detour back to her room."

"Hmm. Alright, thank you. I'll see if anyone else has more information."

"Good luck."

You exchanged nods and turned back towards the throng of people. So far you weren't making much progress. Maki, Nico, Umi, and possibly Honoka had been awake at the time of the alarm. Maki and Umi were definitely out, and you had expected nothing different. That meant it was time to talk to Nico.

She was standing off by herself, loudly proclaiming the indignity of the whole situation to anyone who would listen. As usual, that was no one. It didn't stop her though, and you couldn't help but admire her determination. When it didn't involve singing loudly in the hallways at 1 am, that is.

"Ah, Eli!" Nico spotted you immediately, her eyes lighting up. "Can you _believe_ this? What's taking the firemen so long? This gross air is going to ruin my complexion! We better be able to go back in soon."

"We can only hope. But until then, I'm going around and trying to find the culprit. Do you have any useful information?"

"Oh, sure. I did it."

You pause, process the statement, and then sigh. "I said useful, Nico."

"Come on, I'm admitting to the crime. How is that not useful?" Nico looked almost offended, placing her hands on her hips to appear more convincing. It might have worked if she wasn't a full head shorter than you.

"Because if you had actually done it you wouldn't be admitting it this easily."

"Well maybe I did it by accident. Overloaded the circuits with all my hair straighteners and stuff. That's a thing, right?"

She did raise a good point. There were many ways to set off the fire alarm aside from pulling it. Still, there was no way finding the culprit would be this easy. Accident or not, Nico was most likely not the culprit.

"Do you know what people were doing around the time of the alarm?"

"Not really? I was pretty busy doing stuff. You know. Studying. Singing."

"Maki said that you drove her to the lounge with your music."

Nico laughed at that, a smug grin on her face. "Serves her right! Someday she'll learn to appreciate the wonders of idols. Although I had been hoping she'd come knock on my door and yell at me so I could drag her inside."

"You know that she only realized you were a student here last month, right?"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah." You smiled a bit as you remembered the conversation you had shared with a very confused Maki. "She thought you were Nozomi's kid sister, coming to visit every so often. She didn't know you were a student."

"Unbelievable." Nico frowned, wrinkling her nose and kicking the ground in frustration. She was muttering something under her breath, her words getting darker and darker, and for a moment you were worried for Maki. Then you remembered that just about everyone on the floor could take Nico in a fight, easily.

Still, you felt a bit bad for her, so before you left you agreed to help her study in the morning. Nico was an aspiring make-up artist – she spent festivals painting smiley faces and stars on energetic kids' cheeks – and you could only imagine that having a real person to practice on would make studying easier. You'd be practically asleep, anyways; the chances of feeling anything were slim.

You said goodbye and headed back towards the group of people. There were still several people left to question, and a whole lot more information needed before you could piece together this mystery. You headed for Kotori first, spotting her near the edge of the crowd. Nozomi fell into step beside you, and you didn't even have a chance to sigh before she started talking.

"So, Eli. My dear, sweet Eli. Did Nico give you any answers?"

"No, she was rather unhelpful. But at least she didn't call me that."

"Oh? I can call you honey instead, if you'd prefer."

"I'd prefer you to leave me alone, actually."

"Ah, but I'm afraid I cannot. You haven't questioned me yet, have you? Maybe I have some information to share~"

As much as you hated to admit it, Nozomi always, always had information to share. Nico had joked once that Nozomi kept a camera outside her door; Nozomi had freely admitted it when she heard. You still weren't sure how you felt about that. It could be useful though, just this once.

"Sorry Eli, my camera doesn't record video, only streams it."

"Really? That's- wait, how did you know I was thinking about your camera?"

There was a bright twinkle in Nozomi's eyes, matching the mischievous grin she sported. "I have my ways. And those ways include getting information without said camera. Would you like to hear it?"

You sighed. "Yes, I suppose so."

"Good. Give me your phone number and I'll tell you everything."

"No."

"Aww. What about a promise for a date? There's this lovely parfait place down the block."

"Nozomi. Listen. I'm trying to do the sensible thing here and find out who pulled the alarm so that I can fight them, and you're trying to ask me out. This is unbelievable."

"The only unbelievable thing here is you."

You stared at her in disbelief. She said it with a straight face, a strange emotion flashing in her eyes, and for a moment you thought- No, now she was grinning again, a giggle escaping her lips.

"Oh, how I wish I had my camera now. That was the most beautiful face I have ever seen."

"I hate you."

"I love you too, my darling Eli." As if she knew that she was pushing the limits of your patience, Nozomi quickly changed the subject. "But it's time to question your next victim, don't you think? I'll be your loyal apprentice and take notes for you. We'll make quite a team, don't you think?"

"We'll be something, I'm sure." You rolled your eyes, walking up to said victim. "Hey, Kotori, how are you doing?"

"Hi Eli! Hi Nozomi!" Kotori gave a bright smile, despite the heavy bags under her eyes. "I'm a little tired, but I think I'm doing okay."

"That's good to hear. We – _I_ – was wondering if you had any idea on this fire alarm situation. What have you been up to?"

"Hmmmm… Well, I spent most of the night sewing. That's what I was doing when the alarm went off, actually! I even smelled a bit of smoke, I think. Did you smell any of it, Nozomi?"

"Smoke?" Nozomi tilted her head in thought. "No, I don't think so. But the walls are usually too thick to smell through. I did hear some loud thumps a little while ago though, what were you up to, hmm?"

Kotori missed the teasing grin Nozomi gave, but you did not. You were fairly confident that Kotori was not participating in those types of activities, however, and Kotori confirmed it when she explained how Honoka had knocked over her sewing machine when trying to put her big jug of juice down.

"Ah, it's going to leave a stain, I know it." Kotori sighed, her shoulders slumping. "I was too busy sewing to clean it up, I bet it got everywhere."

"That is unfortunate. Maybe you could-"

 _VREEEEEEEEEE!_

All three of you jumped at the ear splitting noise. You spun around, hands covering your ears as the noise sounded again. Even Nozomi looked disgruntled. It was easy enough to find the culprits though; Honoka and Rin had woken up and were now dancing in a circle, kazoos dangling from their lips. Of all the things to grab when the fire alarm went off, of course they would grab those. You stalked over to them, feeling your headache increase with every step. Kotori followed close behind, an apologetic smile on her face; Nozomi was grinning, now that she had gotten used to the noise.

"What do you two think you're doing?"

Honoka and Rin grinned up at you, undeterred by your frown.

"Playing the kazoos, of course!"

"Not helpful, Honoka. _Why_ are you playing the kazoos? Isn't the fire alarm enough noise for you?"

"We thought it would be fun!" Rin was practically bouncing in place, somehow filled with energy despite the early hour. Looking at her bright smile, you couldn't help but feel your anger subside a little. They were just kids after all. Rin's first year, Honoka's second; they didn't know what it was like to sleep for three hours over the course of as many days. You might as well forgive them.

Then it started to rain.

It began small, a few drops splashing onto your shoulders and nose and making you look up at the dark gray sky. Big droplets fell next, gathering in speed and numbers until your hair was slicked back against your face and all you could do was sigh. That's what everyone else was doing too, it seemed. Kotori shivered as her clothes clung to her thin body; Nozomi's shoulders sagged as she realized that her minimal clothing offered no protection. Honoka and Rin stared at each other in disbelief, then up at the sky, and then their faces lit up and they were high fiving and hugging and sticking the kazoos back between their lips for a victorious screech. Or they would have, if Nico hadn't stormed in and snatched them away.

"What the hell are you two doing!?"

"Nico! Look, look, we made it rain!"

The scathing look Nico gave Honoka was enough to make even you flinch.

"What gave you the bright idea to play the Song of Storms in the first place!? Don't you know how bad the rain is for you? Even a hot shower won't fix this mess."

"Oh, right! The shower!" Rin clapped her hands as she remembered something important. "I finally figured out where to hide the shower head we stole!"

"Seriously? That's awesome. Where did you put it?"

"Well-"

"Oh, so you two were the ones who stole it, hmm?"

Umi's dark voice cut through the air, making everyone shiver. She had a smile on her face and murder in her eyes, her near black hair sticking up at odd angles from the rain. Rin and Nico both paled at the sight.

"Uh, h-hey Umi." Nico took a step backwards, hands in the air. "Man. Stuck in a towel, huh? That sucks."

"Oh, it does, believe me. How unfortunate that I was forced to delay my shower so long do to a certain... mishap."

"Yeah... unfortunate... Anyways, I gotta, uh, run. See ya!"

Nico spun around and dashed away with Rin right behind her, kazoo abandoned on the ground. Umi didn't run. She didn't have to. She simply followed the two at a leisurely pace, knowing that she would catch them eventually. The rest of you stared after her. You wondered if it was your job as RA to take care of this. You decided that you didn't want to.

"So," Nozomi said in the silence the spectacle had left you. "Do you think I should book a plane to America?"

"What?"

Nozomi gave you a grin tinged with the slightest bit of nervousness. "Once Umi catches them, I doubt it will be long until they tell her it was my idea to steal the shower head in the first place."

"Of course it was." You sighed. The day was just getting better and better. "But anyways, Honoka."

"Huh?"

"Did you set off the fire alarm?"

"No, it wasn't me. I was busy sleeping! I mean, studying. Kind of." Honoka gave a sheepish grin, one hand rubbing the back of her neck. You could hear Kotori sigh next to you.

"Honoka..."

"I swear I was studying, Kotori! I had all these books in front of me, and notes, and maybe a pillow but I swear I didn't use it!"

"Well... As long as Umi doesn't hear that... I guess it's fine."

Honoka grimaced at the thought. She was probably thankful for Nico and Rin now, although few things escaped Umi's attention. Honoka looked ready to hide already, and if you didn't still have questions to ask her you would encourage it.

"Before you fell asleep, Honoka, did you see anyone else moving around?"

"Um. Well, there was Kotori and Umi, I saw them. Oh! And Maki was in lounge, right? I waved to her. Annnddd... Rin! Yeah, I saw Rin a couple times! She went to the kitchen once, I think, but I'm not sure she was really awake?"

Nozomi laughed at that, surely imagining all the antics Rin could have gotten up to. You did not share her amusement. A sleepwalker, especially one who lived right next to the alarm, would make this whole case much more difficult.

Was it possible to burn something in the microwave while asleep? When it came to Rin, you almost believed it. That girl was notorious for sleep walking, often in the middle of the day; you couldn't count the number of times you found her passed out in the hallway when you came back from class. And then there was the actual alarm itself. It was a finicky thing, as all the girls knew. You remembered your first year in the dorm, Nozomi running down the hallway with stolen clothes in her hand, Nico chasing after her in a towel. You had opened your door to see what all the commotion was about just in time to see Nico trip, shoulder banging into the fire alarm, and that was all it took to set it off. Someday you really had to talk to someone about getting that fixed.

For now, you just hoped that there would be a better answer than Rin stumbling into it while half asleep. It wouldn't give you the same sense of satisfaction, lecturing a sleepwalker, as it would if someone had set it off on purpose. But how to find out? Rin would not be available for questioning for a good while longer, and the chance of her remembering was slim. You decided to leave the possibility to the end, hoping that more information would reveal another culprit. There was still one other person you could talk to, and a quick search revealed her easily, sitting near the edge of the building.

"I'm going to talk to Hanayo."

Nozomi joined you, as you knew she would, while Kotori and Honoka opted to stay behind. Hanayo saw you both coming and frowned, pulling her arms tighter around her body. That was interesting; Hanayo was a friendly person, always greeting you with a smile and a compliment. Was this a sign of guilt?

Nozomi seemed more concerned than you, stepping forward to talk to Hanayo, and you remembered that they were good friends. Both studying to be elementary school teachers, Nozomi spent a lot of time helping Hanayo with classes. She would know if Hanayo was acting suspicious.

"Hanayo? Are you alright?"

Hanayo curled up tighter before answering. "Yes. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Well… People keep asking me to share my rice! And I don't want to! It's my rice, I made it."

You both stared at her in disbelief. You could see now that she was cradling a bowl, her arms wrapped around it in protection.

"Is that so?" To her credit, Nozomi didn't laugh, although you could hear the desire in her voice. "Don't worry, we aren't here to take your rice. Eli just wants to ask you a couple questions, is all."

She slapped you in the back when she said your name, pushing you forward. You stumbled in your surprise, shooting her a look which she promptly ignored.

"Er, yes." You straightened up, trying to pretend that you hadn't come close to embarrassing yourself in front of your underclassman. "We're trying to figure out who set off the fire alarm. What were you doing when it went off?"

"I was making my rice, of course!"

"At 4 am?"

"Yes! I thought it would help me study, if I had something to eat."

"Did it?"

"Well…" Hanayo bit her lip guilty; Nozomi smiled as she figured out where this was going. "The first bowl didn't turn out very good because the microwave was being weird, so I had to make a second one. But that one didn't taste good either! So I had to make a third one, and that one was good. But the stress from the first two bowls made me even hungrier, so I made a fourth one, and then a fifth, and then…"

Hanayo shrugged her shoulders, her cheeks pink. You couldn't help but smile. The poor girl really loved her rice. Her words had caught your attention though, and you wondered if you were finally coming close to the real culprit.

"You said the microwave was weird. What did you mean by that?"

"Huh? Oh, one of the shower heads was in there, I think? I didn't see it, since it was dark and I was sleepy, but then it sparked a lot when I put the first bowl in. It kinda melted a bit, and it made the inside of the microwave all dark and smokey."

Nozomi had turned around to hide the fact that she was shaking with laughter, one arm wrapped around her stomach and the other covering her mouth to muffle the noise. You ignored her, instead groaning and looking up at the dark sky as if it would offer you answers.

"Rin, _why_ …"

The rain didn't respond, but the sudden cold wind that blew through the area seemed to mock you.

"Hanayo, please… check the microwave before starting it."

She gave you a sheepish grin and nod. You were sure that that was the real reason she had made so many bowls of rice; Hanayo always ate more when she was scared, and seeing those sparks while only half-awake would be enough to worry everyone.

"Why did you say Rin's name though?" Hanayo titled her head to the side, worried about her friend. "What did she do?"

"Rin's the one who put the shower head in there!" Nozomi was smiling grandly, her eyes still twinkling in amusement. She seemed to be having the time of her life, standing out here in the drenching rain, and you resented her for it. Some people needed to learn how to be pessimistic.

"Ah, really? I wonder why she did that… But that explains why she kept coming in to check the microwave."

"Oh, you saw her?" You turned your attention back to Hanayo. "What was she doing?"

"Not much, really. She would come in, check the microwave, and then leave. I'm pretty sure she was asleep? She kept banging into things and knocking things over."

"Did she say anything to you?"

"She said good morning, once. And another time that she had decided to drop out of college to become a cat. Except then I reminded her that she was allergic to cats, and she started crying? So I offered to share some of my rice with her, and she stopped and smiled, and then turned around and walked straight into the wall."

That set Nozomi off again, and if you weren't about to collapse under the stress of your three majors and seven exams tomorrow you might be tempted to join her. At least Rin hadn't seemed injured from her adventures. Now you really had to talk to her though. She was the last one left to question, assuming you could find her.

And find her you did, eventually, crouched under the table with a very annoyed Maki. You and Nozomi stared at them, Rin smiling back and Maki glaring at you as she pressed her textbook to her chest.

"What do you want?"

"Well, we wanted Rin, but now…"

"Take her, then."

"What are you even doing?"

" _I_ went under here because it started raining and I didn't want my papers getting wet. Rin came under here because the world hates me and is doing everything in its power to stop me from studying."

You couldn't really argue with that. The world seemed to hate everyone today, aside from the still grinning Nozomi.

"Does this mean you escaped Umi, then?" she asked, her voice filled with pride. Rin nodded vigorously.

"Yeah! She caught Nico, but I managed to get away, and now I have Maki to protect me!"

"I am going to find Umi myself and hand you over to her."

"Eh? But Makiiii…"

"Your chances of safety are decreasing significantly, I want you to know that."

Rin looked terrified, and you decided to step in before the situation escalated.

"Rin, I heard that you were sleepwalking a lot. Do you remember any of it?"

"Huh? Was I sleep walking?"

You sighed. This was exactly what you had expected, and exactly what you had hoped to avoid. But for once, Nozomi decided to actually be useful.

"Did the fire alarm wake you up?" When she saw the strange looks she got at the question, she explained further: "If the fire alarm woke Rin up, and she was the one who set it off, then she would wake up in the hallway, right?"

You took back everything bad you ever said about Nozomi. Luckily for you, you kept most of those bad things to yourself, never saying them out loud.

"Well, the fire alarm did wake me up," Rin said, "but I wasn't in the hallway. I was in Maki's room!"

"You _what_?"

"I was, uhm, in your room?"

Maki had clearly been spending too much time with Umi, what with the way her narrowed eyes sent shivers down your spine. You made a mental note to never make her mad. Rin was learning that too late, legs crouched underneath her in case she needed to bolt. You were starting to get concerned over how many enemies she was making tonight.

"I'm sure Rin didn't do anything, Maki, and if she did I'm sure she'll be very willing to help clean up."

"She better."

Rin nodded quickly, eyes still wide. "I'll definitely help! I'll clean everything up, and make you ramen, and you do your homework, and-"

" _Rin._ "

"-ah, right, sorry! I'll be quiet!" Rin mimed zipping her lips up. You expected it to last all of three seconds. Maki seemed just as confident, but she settled down for now, enjoying the few bits of peace she would get. You glanced at Nozomi and were surprised to see an odd look on her face instead of the teasing grin you had expected. What was she thinking this time?

"Nozomi?"

"The alarm stopped."

"What?" You paused, finally noticing the silence that had fallen over the area. The lights in the dorm flashed once, twice, and then didn't flash again. A tired cheer rose from the crowd. You felt your body sag in relief. Rin crawled out from the under the table first, looking around in disbelief. She grinned as a loud honk carried through the air, sprinting away to join Honoka in triumphant kazooing.

Maki came out next. You could see papers sticking out from her shirt where she had stuffed them for safety, the corners soggy from the rain.

"Finally," she muttered, not even waving goodbye as she headed back towards the building.

People filed around you and Nozomi, streaming inside. You spotted Kotori and Hanayo walking together, Hanayo shoving a spoonful of rice in her mouth as Kotori talked. And there was Umi, dragging Nico along by the collar of her shirt. You winced in sympathy. Honoka and Rin came at the end of the crowd, skipping along hand and hand with way too much energy than should be allowed at close to 5 in the morning.

Then it was just you and Nozomi left, standing in the steady rain and shivering in the cold air. She smiled at you, nodding towards the door, and you followed her.

"So," you said, trudging back inside and feeling weariness weigh down your limbs as the long night caught up to you, "it was you all along, right? You're the one who actually pulled the alarm."

"Nope. Guess again~"

You sighed. You had a lot of sleuthing ahead of you.


	2. Answer

You don't know why you agreed to this. Graduation was in two days – you should be rewriting your speech for the 117th time, not sitting in this brightly lit café with the girl who had been the bane of your existence for the last three years. There were so many things that could go wrong, everything from her constant flirting to you accidentally agreeing to go on a second outing. At least the place served good parfaits.

You took a big scoop of yours, reveling in the taste of chocolate and caramel, and watched Nozomi chatter on. Something about cards? You had no idea. There were more important things to think about. Time was running out, and you still needed to find the culprit of the fire alarm. If you could puzzle the mystery out today then the duel could take place tomorrow, before everyone left for summer. You had been preparing for it all week.

"Alright." You interrupted Nozomi, setting your spoon down for the moment. "I agreed to come here so that you would share your information with me. Let's start."

"Ah, someone's impatient. Well, since we're already here," she licked her lips slowly, and you couldn't look away, "why don't we make it a game?"

"Seriously?"

"Don't be a party pooper, Eli, you're not going to make any friends that way."

You sat back and crossed your arms. "It's more like I can't get rid of them."

The grin that appeared on Nozomi's face told you that you had fallen right into her trap. "Oh? Does the lone wolf Eli consider simple old me a friend? I'm so honored~"

"Shut up." You shoved another spoonful of the parfait into your mouth, trying to rid yourself of the embarrassed blush you knew had appeared. "Just what game were you thinking of?"

"It's simple. You tell me your theories, and I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Fun, right?"

"Sounds aggravating to me. What exactly is stopping you from telling me the answer right now?"

"Because if I did that then you would leave right after I finished."

She wasn't wrong. Well, you would stay until you finished your parfait. You had paid for this delicious snack and you weren't leaving it behind. After that, though, then you would leave.

"Alright, fine. I'll agree to your terms."

"Perfect. You won't regret it." Nozomi leaned forward, elbows on the table and fingers interlaced as she smiled at you. "Who do you think set off the alarm?"

It was time to get down to business. You had spent all of your minimal free time this week putting together the pieces, and you think you had it down. Best to start off with the obvious though, make sure you didn't miss anything.

"It was definitely not Umi or Maki. Umi was busy in her shower, and Maki was occupied with studying. Neither of them had a motive to pull the alarm, and they couldn't have done it accidentally."

"Correct so far. But speaking of those two- any ideas on how I can get them to loosen up a bit? I was thinking an end of the year party, maybe sneak in some alcohol…"

You glared at Nozomi. "Don't you dare touch them. Those two are the last sane ones in this dorm, and don't you even think about corrupting them."

"Fine, fine. But only because you asked so nicely~"

You sighed. "Okay, next person. I'm going to say that Nico didn't do it. You remember her pulling it last year, right?"

"Oh, how could I ever forget?" Nozomi grinned at the memory, and you couldn't help but smile too. It was Nico's big prank for the year, pulling the alarm in the middle of the night. You could only laugh as you remembered her shocked face when smoke started seeping out of the building, orange flames flickering in the windows. The firemen praised Nico's quick thinking for catching the microwave's fire before it started; Nico just stood in shock.

"She wouldn't pull the alarm again, after that. Her excuse was wrong anyways; it would take a lot more than a hair straightener to trigger anything."

"Yep, that is all very true. But you're missing the most important part."

"Yeah?"

"Nico only pulls one prank a week, and she already stole the shower head that same day."

"Wasn't that your prank though?"

"Shhh." Nozomi held a finger to her lips and winked. "Umi hasn't found out yet, and I'm trying to keep it that way."

"What would you do if I told her right now?"

"Probably steal your parfait and eat it myself. That's a just punishment, don't you think?"

You wrapped your arms around your desert and pulled it closer to you, eyes narrowed. "Don't even try."

Nozomi laughed. "Oh, someone's possessive. But no worries, no worries. I don't like caramel, so I'll give that part back."

"Hmph." You took a big spoonful of your parfait, never taking your eyes off Nozomi. No one was taking away this chocolate from you.

"Alright, moving on. This is where it gets a bit harder. I think Rin and Honoka are innocent though. Honoka was moving around during the night, but she was back in her room well before the alarm went off, most likely asleep. She would have had to leave her room again to pull the alarm, and since Maki was in the lounge she would have seen her."

"Hmm, but wasn't Maki busy studying? Wouldn't she have been too preoccupied to notice?"

"Well…" That was a very good point. Maki would have mentioned seeing Honoka too. Probably. She could have easily accepted a bribe to stay quiet. But that didn't sit right with you. "Still, Honoka was asleep at the time. I don't think it was her."

"Then you are thinking correctly. Our little kazoo player is innocent. Well, innocent of this crime at least."

You decided not to ask what other crimes Honoka was getting up too under Nozomi's influence. You didn't want to know.

"Rin, then. She's a pretty big suspect, but the fact that she woke up in Maki's room clears her of that. It's possible that she hit the alarm and then traveled to Maki's room and woke up there, but I doubt it. I'm the RA- I have to check all the rooms after the alarm goes off. There's no way she could have walked all the way to Maki's room and still made it out of the building before I saw her."

"Maybe she jumped out the window."

You raised your eyebrow at Nozomi, who only gave you an innocent smile. "Are you trying to help or are you just making things up now?"

"It could happen."

"We live on the second floor."

"Rin's athletic."

"So am I, and you don't see me jumping out of windows."

"I'm sure I could change that."

"I'd rather you didn't."

Nozomi pouted. "Ah, you're no fun. But you are correct. Rin was not the culprit. Who's your next guess?"

"With the two of them out, that leaves only Kotori and Hanayo."

"What if I said I was the one who pulled it all along? Would you punch me?"

"No hesitation."

"So cruel. But you know, you're forgetting one another suspect."

"And who is that?"

"Yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"I've heard more than a few people saying that you were the one who pulled it. Those three majors have finally driven you insane. All this detective work was just a cover for some grand scheme you came up with on a whim."

You took a big scoop of caramel sauce from your parfait and dropped it on top of Nozomi's ice cream. There was genuine horror on her face as she watched it drip down, her mouth open in dismay and her eyes wide. You felt satisfaction bubble up inside you, more than was probably necessary.

"What was that about me being cruel?"

You expected some joke – an "I'm breaking up with you", or a "your heart is colder than my ice cream" – but Nozomi didn't respond. She was staring at her ruined desert, spoon dangling loosely from her fingers, and you sighed.

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry, that was mean." You shoved your own parfait across the table, having eaten nearly all of the caramel already, and swapped it for Nozomi's ruined one. "Better?"

Nozomi looked at it in disbelief, then up at you with a smile that was warm and sweet and true, and _no ,_ your heart didn't just skip a beat, your body was just mourning for all the chocolate you had just given away. Probably.

"A-anyways." You coughed awkwardly, trying to cover up your embarrassment. You think for once it may have worked, Nozomi too busy taking a spoonful of her new parfait, eyes closed in contentment, to notice. "Back on topic. Hanayo and Kotori. Both of them mentioned smoke, so it's possible that both of them pulled it. I would have said Kotori, since Hanayo was too busy with her rice to care about what smoke meant."

"Kotori would have mentioned if she had gone and pulled the alarm though, don't you think?"

You nodded. "Yes, she would have. Unlike certain people on this floor, she wouldn't lie about that."

"By certain people you mean Nico, right?" Nozomi grinned, back to her usual energy now that her parfait was safe.

"Sure, of course. Only Nico."

Nozomi stuck her tongue out at you and you smiled, rolling your eyes.

"Hanayo said that the showerhead smoked and made sparks, and when I checked it after the alarm it was partially melted. Just making popcorn sets off the alarm every few weeks, the showerhead could definitely cause it."

"Very true. But then you would have to fight poor, sweet Hanayo. Do you really want that?"

"No, no I don't. I don't think I'd have the heart." You didn't think you could even be mad at her. The girl was just trying her best. "But luckily I don't think it was her, despite all of that."

"Oh?"

"She made upwards of six bowls of rice, and she said the weird taste from the smoke had faded after the first two. Wouldn't it have gone off earlier then, when she was making those first few bowls?"

"That is a good point. How many bowls of rice is too many bowls for the microwave to handle?"

"I don't know." You ran a hand through your hair as you mulled over the options. You had been stuck on this all week. "But how could Kotori set off the alarm? She said she smelled smoke, but she's too far away from the microwave for it to have been the same smoke."

The twinkle in Nozomi's eyes told you that she knew exactly how. You had a feeling she wasn't going to tell you.

"Well, what did Kotori spend the night doing?"

"Sewing. That's obvious, she never does anything else. But it's not like her sewing machine burst into flames all of the sudden. I think she would have mentioned that."

"All very true. Kotori has yet to figure out her magical fire powers. What else did she do that night though?"

"Was there something else? Oh, wait, didn't Honoka visit her?"

Nozomi's grin grew wider. You ignored her, starting to put the pieces together.

"Honoka knocked over the sewing machine, didn't she? And spilled juice on herself in the process."

"Mm hm."

"And Kotori never cleaned it up, so if any of it got on the sewing machine… or even worse, on the plug…"

"Mmmmm hmmmm."

You sighed. "That was it, wasn't it? Honoka poured juice on the sewing machine, and then Kotori used it and smoke came out and set off the alarm."

"Bingo! Good job, detective."

Nozomi gave you a thumbs up. She seemed too cheerful about this overwhelmingly disappointing answer. Who were you supposed to fight now? Honoka didn't do it, technically, but you couldn't imagine fighting Kotori. You put your head down on the table and groaned.

"What am I supposed to do now, Nozomi?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can't fight Kotori, I just can't. She's too innocent. She doesn't deserve it."

"Oh, so stone cold Eli does have a heart in there, deep down. How interesting."

You raised your head back up to shoot her a glare. "You're not helping."

"Of course not. Did you expect me to?"

"No."

Nozomi giggled. She was having way too much fun with this whole thing. If school wasn't over you had a feeling she would've pulled the alarm herself in a few weeks, just to reenact it. But at least then the answer would have been obvious.

"Why didn't Kotori mention that, though? She said that the juice spilled, but if she had said it was on the machine… She must have noticed. Why didn't she say anything about it?"

"Well…" Nozomi had a big grin on her face, and you couldn't help but be filled with dread. "It certainly was an _alarming_ situation…"

"Don't-"

"…so she was probably too enamored by you to explain what happened…"

"Stop-"

"…since, after all, you are so hot…"

"I swear to god, Nozomi-"

"…one could say you're on _fire_."

You were swimming back to Russia.


End file.
